"I Miss ..."

I started the fight
and even though I know
you should always make up before turning off the lights,
I brought the drama.
Two days ago, I had a headache.
Rolled over on my side,
ignored when you touched my shoulder
and closed my eyes.
Constantly avoiding intimate moments,
our sex life seems more like a memory than part of our lives.
Little more than roommates,
you spend more time in the shower,
and on the computer ...
And I don't need to be told.
You have reverted to 16 years old
and having to please yourself again.
Littlest issues blowing up
and it's just pent-up energy.
But I can't manage allowing you entry.
It's complicated.
Life has gotten in the way
and sometimes when you are counting down to cumming,
well, my mind is on bills, or our last fight , it's on what's for dinner or something else.
I still love you,
if I didn't, then the answer would be easy
but it's not.
And I even tried Google to search what was wrong with me.
And inside, I already know what's been missing ...

I want my boyfriend back
with the corny jokes and the loud laugh
the carefree smiles
and surprise visits to my job
sex in the car, praying we don't get caught
spontaneous and free
before mortgages and babies.

I miss the flirting and romance
anticipation and sexy glances
trying new things and positions
all replaced with stress and tensions
and I don't know how
to turn it off and on
like you seem to be able to do ...

Noticed you got a new video game
know that means you staying up late
... and I don't have to come up with an excuse tonite.

~Miss Opportunity