"When Love Hurts"

Reminiscing on the jubilant days so far extinct.
I now reach for the right words, but these lips won't speak.
What happened to the laughter, affection, and unconditional love?
I thought you were a gift from the heavens above.
How we were able to overcome the disagreements so effortlessly.
Does this ever cross your mind, or is it just me?
Still, I love with a heart broken into a thousand pieces.
I gather them all together, but the excruciating pain never ceases.
How could you hurt me when I live for you day in and day out?
Nobody ever taught me that this is what love's supposed to be about.
Somewhere in the chaos, I lost sight of me.
The way I walk, talk, think, and the way things used to be.
I realized a few months ago, I don't know myself anymore.
My whole being shivers at the thought of the unexpected you have in store.
My solution is to end it all myself and show my life discontinued.
Then I realized you stole my life, a disgraceful venue.
Lost my sense of direction and I just don't know where to turn.
I think about our relationship and all that I've learned.
I've been betrayed by the enemy himself.
Though I lack material, my heart and my soul are my wealth.
I called on the Lord with all my might.
I basked in His presence and vowed to fight.
Fought for my purpose and rediscovered myself.
Vowed to God to take repossession of my wealth!
Determination so strong in my spirit that I left with the clothes on my back.
Never to look behind me and didn't even think to pack.
I've found the love I once sought and it's so true.
I'm better this way, and there's one way I'll never give up on you.
I'll always pray for you to begin to love yourself.
That soon one day you'll even rediscover your wealth.
Though you hurt me so bad, I still will always love you.
Just not enough to continue to take the abuse and I thank God for the new!
I have no regrets for I've learned a valuable lesson.
No matter what anyone does, they deserve to be forgiven.
Necessary for one’s own freedom.

By: Kenya Mack

Blog: kenyamack.blogspot.com
Twitter: @KenyaMack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


No one deserves to be abused. There’s no excuse.
http://www.ndvh.org
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)
Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7

MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION

How do I choose? Where do I start? One has my brain, the other my heart. Do I fake right and go left or fake left and go right, or do I think like a winner and prepare for the fight? Just two choices to make, but man I'm stumped. I wish life was much easier, ahh forget it, I'll just fake the funk. But who am I fooling -- me or them? I know someone knows something, but they're just not saying. My life is but a game and this one I'm done playing. To say it's hard out here for a pimp is just too cliche, so I'll just go another route and say mine was made. You might be in confusion or just wondering, what? I got a bad chick on my right/left side and I'm not giving her up. One's the motivation, the other's the inspiration -- why cant they just come together and complete my situation? No, I'm not a player and that's not my m.o. But this ego thing she has, just gots to go. One minute it's this, the next it's that. This chick be set tripping and that's a fact. She pushes me to do and be more and doesn't want me to fail, but when things don't go well... Dammit man, she's giving me hell. I just can't leave her alone because my LOVE IS LOST. Lost in confusion or is it just my thoughts? Nah, I'm not confused, but what's a nucca to do? MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION, THIS IS ALL FOR YOU!!!

~~> AMERICAN DREAM <~~

U. T. I. ( Under. The. Influence )

"Da mind is a creature of habit"

I've been placed on this planet for reasoning, understanding and knowledge, once a prisoner to a well-designed infrastructure system. A system so well-organized, it is not visual to the human eye ... But it is indeed a state of mind and death is the only route ofescaping -- death not upon the body, but demolishing of all negative thoughts. See, the moment I come outside and come encounter with other minds, I intake apart of their life, their world, their pain and some of their success.

Now the power of having choices is similar to goddess ... in a form of destroying and rebuilding. Remodel your world youngin, sit in your thrown, create a habitat you could call home. Have acumen in all your steps and planning, create da matrix -- don't be apart of it. Da mind takes shape to any form that is implicated repeatedly. In other words, the mind is an open window allowing information to enter -- your thoughts are the molder and your beliefs are the reality. Be cautious to those you converse with on reasoning, understanding and knowledge.

~~GHOST~~

"Alive in Thought"

"If you are going through hell, keep on going" ~ Winston Churchill

What that means makes no sense, but is at the time as clear as a foggy night.
While lived in a home for several years, spent the last four building a house. Leaning to plan, wire, frame and truly creating a warm colored masterpiece.
While have yet to send out a single invitation.
Still, just a house.
I'm special, unique, powerful, or simply narcissistic.
In a day, how many times does "I" happen?
Did I build a house night and day to create, to keep on going, or to heal?
Has life been lived to accomplish or does life be lived ...
simply to grasp anything can be accomplished.
To gather stones, rocks, pebbles for a road.
To taste that red ripe strawberry just picked
with morning dew still glazing.
To run into the dark to hide those shadows no more.
What tells the truth? As in a circular fashion, winds the clock.
Having traveled the four corners,
yet still without taken as much as a single step.
In one glorious moment, does it all change?
The mesmerizing fresh meadows pour over with excitement.
The capture of blindness has struck with vibrant blues.
In this presence, we have captured a mere glimpse of pure sunshine.


By: M. Dexter

"The Pleasure Principle" {Part 4/4}

Once in California, I began my norm and proceeded to make some doe. It was hard to start over, but I managed to set up shop within a matter of weeks. Out of the blue, I received a call from an old client named Devon Armstead. I was glad to see an old face with long money. Devon was a rich oil tycoon out of Texas who loved black women. As always, he requested that I dressed in red lingerie and I was only happy to oblige after a limo arrived to take me to Fredericks to get the just right ensemble for what was going down later. When I returned home, I quickly showered, packed my bag of tricks, and went to the hotel. When I arrived, I asked for him and the desk attendant told me he was expecting me and handed me a hotel card key for room 112. I went up one floor and used my hotel card to enter the room. It was a gorgeous suite that overlooked the city and there were red rose petals all over the floor and a note that read: "Make yourself at home, beautiful. I had to run out, but I will return shortly. Look in the closet, there is a surprise for you ☺" The interesting thing is that game should’ve recognized game. I should’ve got the hell out of there, but I didn't. When I opened the closet door, there stood Redd with a rose in his mouth. My breath was caught in my throat. I took a few steps back, but I couldn’t will myself to run. My mind was racing.

I blurted out, “You’re not Devon!”

He threw the rose at me. “You think?”

How on earth did this motherfucka find me?

"You stupid bitch! Did you think you could get away from me, LaKisha?" he asked, stepping out of the closet.

How this nigga gonna call me by my government name? How the fuck did he find me? I thought to myself, as he backed me into the corner. "It's not what you think, Redd ... really," I said in a pleading tone.

"Well, it appears you were getting money in Jersey and I see that wasn't enough for your trifling ass," he spat before smacking me across the face. He smacked me repeatedly until I cried out.

“No more, please! No more!” I couldn't believe he hit me, but this was the game and I had to respect it. Tears began to stream down my eyes, making my Christian Dior mascara run. "I just wanted ... ummm ... I just," I mumbled between the sobs.

"Look, bitch! This is real shit here. You know you couldn’t come to Cali or anywhere thinking you ‘bout to be running shit without me. There are rules to this game and you should’ve known who you were fucking with," Redd said before smacking me again.

"I know Redd. I know! Please stop hitting me! I can't take it anymore,” I pleaded.

“Don’t tell me what to do! I told you that you belonged to me. You thought I was playing? Did you hear me? I asked you a fucking question. Did you forget?”

I shook my head.

“No, you forgot. I’m about to teach that ass a lesson.”

Redd grabbed my arm and threw me against the wall. My teeth clicked when the back of my head banged against it. He punched me so hard that it felt as though my brain shook. I cried and pleaded for him to stop, but that only seemed to make him angrier. He began raining punches on every spot of my body. I felt as though I was going to lose consciousness when he finally he stopped. He lifted me from the floor and ripped my lingerie off. Then he flung me onto the bed and climbed between my legs.

I cried out, “Please, Redd. No!”

"But I thought this is what you loved so much," he said, with a sinister grin on his face and then penetrated my dry walls.

I cried out, “Ouch! You’re hurting me!”

He ignored my cries and continued fucking me harder. Suddenly, he pulled out. He flipped me over on all fours and, without warning or lubrication, this nigga shoved his dick in my ass.

I howled in pain. “Ouch!”

He laughed cynically. A few minutes later, he pulled out and dragged me off the bed throwing me onto the floor. He commanded me to get up on my knees. He rubbed his dick in my face. “Suck it!”

I shook my head. Redd slapped me. Reluctantly, I took his manhood and put in my mouth. I proceeded to work his dick back and forth. He told me to play with my pussy. He squeezed my breasts hard as I played with my clit.

“Ouch!” I shrieked, pulling away.

He grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked me back. “Suck my dick, bitch!”

As much as I wanted to gnaw it off and feed it to his ass, I didn't. Instead, I continued to suck for 15 minutes until that sorry motherfucka came all over my face and in my hair. He looked down at me with disgust and with his foot, he kicked me away like I was a piece of trash on the street.

You asshole! I screamed inside my head not daring to say it aloud.

Redd left me there in the middle of the floor as he walked to the bathroom. I just sat on the floor, wondering when the hell I was going to wake up from this nightmare when I realized it was just the beginning. I knew he wasn’t about to let me go anywhere without him knowing my whereabouts, but I had to get to a doctor. It hit me that the nigga didn’t bother using a rubber.

He yelled from the bathroom, "You already know what’s up. So just consider this your only warning. Get your shit and let’s go. You’re going back to Jersey.”

“I can’t just leave like this, Redd.”

“What did you just say to me? You can’t?” He came out of the bathroom in what seemed like one long stride. He pimp slapped me.

I bit my lip as I fell backwards. I could taste my own blood as my hand went to my mouth. Quickly regaining my composure, I shook my head. “I was trying to tell you about my lease on the apartment I got, that’s all.”

“Don’t worry about that. My boys are already moving yo’ shit out. I paid it up for the rest of the year, so I want my money back. That means when we get back, I expect you to handle your business my way. For your lying and deceitfulness, your traps will be double what it used to be. Don't disappoint me, Laci."

I nodded silently. He stared down at me for what seemed like an eternity. I was relieved when his cell rang. He looked at it and smiled turning his back to me. I didn't know what to do, but I pulled myself from the floor and went to the bathroom to clean up. I almost jumped out of my skin when he appeared behind me.

"So what's good, playboy?" Redd asked the person on the phone, while he kissed my bare shoulder.

I cringed inside and focused on my reflection in the mirror. I frowned. The bruises everywhere made my beautiful face resemble that of a raccoon. He walked back into the suite, leaving the door open. I looked at Redd and then back at the mirror. For the first time, I didn't like the person I saw.

Suddenly, I heard him say, "Laci is just fine. I just taught the bitch a lesson and class is over. Yeah. We’re going to leave as soon as she gets dressed."

I went back into the suite because I wanted to know who he was talking to. As if he knew what I was about to say, Redd walked towards me. He stopped in front of me and smiled before blurting out, "My nigga, Aaron, sends his regards." Then he turned on his heel and began exiting the room.

I stood in the middle of the floor suddenly feeling week in the knees. I yelled at his back, "Wait a minute. How the fuck do you know—"

Redd turned around as he opened the door. "I told ya'll hoes before ... don't hate the playa, hate the game!”

THE END

Click here to read: "The Pleasure Principle" {Part 1/4}
Click here to read: "The Pleasure Principle" {Part 2/4}
Click here to read: "The Pleasure Principle" {Part 3/4}

By: Kisha Green
author/publisher of the novel "And Even If I Did"
Blog Talk Radio host of "Writer's Life Chats"

Website: www.divabooksinconline.com
Twitter: @KishaGreen

"The Touch"

It's a few weeks now since we passed on the street,
Not a word spoken amongst the hoard of feet,
stamping and marching in line in the 9 a.m. rush,
It was raining that morning, my hair was sodden when you brushed
Against me, caused me to turn and look, Tore me from my daydream
As I stomped wetly on my way to work, your eyes gleamed.
I was about to yell, "Look where you're going, jerk," instead I raised
My brow and grinned, to meet your cheeky grin. We blazed
for a moment, then I turned on my heels and walked away
I've been passing you in the same spot each and every day
Since. And now the dreams have started, I don't even know your name
That doesn't stop me from wanting you, aching for you, all the same.
It's those eyes of yours, every time we pass in the 9 a.m. crowd
You want to hesitate, I want to stop, not sure if I'm allowed
to in this City. I'm sure you know the etiquette of suits
I can't handle this much more, tomorrow I'll shoot
and go for the kill. The problem I have is I don't want to speak to you
I just want to see if that fire in your eyes burns true,
And if my dreams aren't misleading, then your hands feel amazing all over me
I won't even say a word, just take a leap of faith, be free
for once, and leap into your arms, wrap my legs around you and press
my wet warm lips against yours, forget the city stress.
Maybe you could push us into an alleyway, somewhere, well, quiet,
Where we could just unwind, without starting a riot?
I wonder if you would reciprocate? If I unzipped your pants and started to play
Or would you think that I was mad, maybe run away?
It's a few weeks now, since we passed on the street,
And whilst grinning and eye contact is neat
I really need to feel you inside me, I don't want to talk,
Tomorrow, I might kiss you on the sidewalk.


By: Doubtful Poet

Twitter: @DoubtfulPoet

"The Pleasure Principle" {Part 3/4}

I hung up with Katisha, grabbed my dress, and quickly drove home. I ran to my closet and grabbed the Louis Vuitton bathing suit given to me as a gift from yet another satisfied client, Jeffrey. I threw it into the suitcase and finished packing within minutes. I had just finished putting on my makeup on and was running the comb through my hair when the phone rang.

"What up, hoe?" Tamia asked, but before I could answer, she proceeded to sing the hit by Soulja Boy, "Hopped up out the bed, turn my swag on. Took a look in the mirror, said 'what's up?' Yeah, I'm gettin money, oh!"

"Um ... hello ... hello, bitch ... save the rapping for your thugs," I said abruptly, cutting her off.

"Oh ... my bade hoe. I was calling because I was about to stop by so you could see these Jimmy Choo's I got from my new sugar daddy, Javier."

"Won't be happening tonight because Sterling got a limo coming in about 15 minutes and I'm about to be out."

"Oh, damn. Now that’s what’s up. Well hit me up when you get back."

"Alright, later."

I closed the phone and placed it on my vanity. I continued to comb my hair. I looked myself once over in my full-length mirror before going downstairs to wait for the limo. A few minutes later, the horn blared and I was on my way to see Sterling. Instead of going out of town, the driver took me to the Waldorf Astoria hotel in Manhattan. Once at Sterling's hotel suite, I nibbled on the caviar and sipped some champagne he had sitting next to the Jacuzzi. He was relaxing and began telling me about his stressful job. I was somewhat interested, but truthfully, my cash was on the mind so I changed the subject and handled business. I walked over to Sterling and proceeded to strip. I knew how much he loved to watch me and like always I put on a show.

After everything was over, like a taught dog, Sterling told me where I could find my compensation for the evening. To my left on the nightstand, there was a red velvet box that contained a platinum tennis bracelet and $4,500 in cash. I winked at him, gathered what was mine, and put it in my Gucci clutch. We shared a kiss before I rushed out. There was still time for me to catch up to Aaron. When I got home I called and told him I was on my way to I-Divine’s, but he asked me to meet him at his house instead. I knew what was up so I quickly grabbed my overnight bag and headed out the door. Half an hour later, I was pulling up behind Aaron’s white Yukon Denali. Before I got to the door I heard Aaron opening it. I saw the grin on his face and my eyes lit up.

Once inside, we damn near ran up stairs and into his bedroom. I slid my dress off, sat on the edge of the bed and began to play with myself. Aaron watched as I slowly began to massage my already engorged clit. I rubbed myself in a circular motion for several minutes as he watched, stroking his dick. I was nowhere close to climaxing, but I was getting moist looking back at him. My breasts were standing erect, waiting for Aaron to pay them some "special" attention. He came over to the side of the bed and leaned forward covering my left nipple with his hot mouth. I lifted my back as he pushed three fingers deep into my pussy. I moaned, rubbing my clit harder. He continued to suck my nipple and finger fuck. He pulled away from my taut nipple and moved his head below my waist. I moved my hand and he replaced it with his fat tongue. While his fingers moved in and out of my walls, his tongue danced across my clit. I moaned until I felt my body release the first orgasm. He straightened his back and turned to my side. I scooted to the edge of the bed and grabbed his sack, as I filled my mouth with his manhood. He grabbed my head and threw his head back while fucking my mouth. I slurped on his dick until I felt it pulsing in my mouth. I knew he came but swallowed and continued working my magic on his dick. I knew he would be ready in a second. A minute went by before I felt his shaft swelling in my mouth. He took a step back and looked down at me. That expression told me he was going to give me what my body craved for. He walked over to the dresser, grabbed a condom. When his back hit the bed, I took the rubber from him, slid it on with my mouth and then straddled him. He loved when I did this. I knew it drove him crazy that he couldn’t figure out how I could put a rubber on with my mouth so precisely. With one stroke, Aaron went deep. I rode his cock until our bodies climaxed together. We held one another close and Aaron began talking about his career plans again, but then he mentioned being together forever. I almost jumped out of his arms but played it cool. I never said anything in response because I didn’t know what to say. I just nodded and pretended to fall asleep.

As the months went along, Aaron and I saw each other whenever my “modeling” schedule permitted. In a perfect world, he would indeed be the one. You know, that nigga I could be laid up in the bed on a Sunday afternoon watching movies with on some real hugged up shit. Aaron could indeed fuck all night like an energizer bunny and had a dick that reached every section of my sugar walls. His dick goes deep and during our session, he would have me coming for hours. To top it off, he also liked to spend doe on me. So what was there not to like? The realism was that we were both obsessed with our different lifestyles. Even though I felt I was falling in love with him, I knew deep down he would never be able to give me what I constantly needed. So I continued to tell myself it would never work and handled business. Keeping Aaron in check with his feelings was one thing, but I should’ve known that my mutinous ways were going to catch up with me.

I knew the game and getting money like this was only going to be temporary. Word on the street had it that Redd was about to get out of jail. I knew I needed to get out of New Jersey before my former pimp found me. After long consideration, I decided it was best for me to go the West Coast. I even considered hiring some females to expand my territory. My only dilemma with that was taking some young hoes under my belt. I knew they would try to feed me chicken when they knew I wanted steak. I knew the game because I did it to Redd when I worked for him. Simply put, the hoes would be giving me my money, but drama would start the moment any of them brought me less than what I knew they could get. I know what I asked for and that's what I want. Redd wasn’t on top of his game, but principles are everything, feel me?

Now that I’ve schooled you on the business, let’s get back to the dilemma with Redd getting out: Aaron. This dude wanted more of a commitment and I had to be honest with myself. I really wasn't ready to be with just one so I did what any female in my shoes would do. I left him a Dear John letter. I hit up a couple of my connects in Beverly Hills and began to pack my suitcases. Even though they were against my decision, I told Tamia and Katisha I had to get away from Redd. Katisha wanted me to tell Aaron, but he would never understand after all of the lies I’d told. I asked her how stupid would I look asking him to protect me from a pimp knowing I was still out doing it without him. Right as I got into my new candy apple red SLR McLaren to leave for the airport, my cell rang. I looked at the display and it read "Aaron." After our breakup, this pussy-whipped fool blew up my phone on a daily basis while sending flowers and gifts to my house. He had no idea that all of this was business and never personal. Someone like me would never settle down. I couldn't talk to him so I ignored the call and drove off into the sunset.

Yeah, that would be a fly ending to my story, huh? Yeah, but the reality was I was driving to the Newark International Airport to catch a flight to California to get away from Redd, remember?


To be continued ...


Click here to read: "The Pleasure Principle" {Part 1/4}
Click here to read: "The Pleasure Principle" {Part 2/4}

By: Kisha Green
author/publisher of the novel "And Even If I Did"
Blog Talk Radio host of "Writer's Life Chats"

Website: www.divabooksinconline.com
Twitter: @KishaGreen

"Pretty Rotten"

She's gorgeous on the outside, flawless without a blemish. Body like a video vixen with eyes penetrating deep into your soul. She walks with her head high, heels clicking with every step {"click, clock, click, clock"}, rips the sidewalk like a catwalk taking your every breath. She's the type you can't wife, she attracts too much attention. Not to mention, she's a flirt and that kind of makes it worst. On the outside, she's a fresh breath of air; but on the inside, polluted, self-hatred planted and branched off, subconsciously rooted. Drug addict, sniffing coke in her parents attic ... While they sleep, she smokes weed, pops pills and sneaks off ... Pussy wet from the excitement, she's fittin' to freak off. Pregnant twice before and aborted both missions. Having sex with no protection, making the wrong decisions. High school dropout and she can't keep a job for a whole week. Parties every night, doing drugs, getting no sleep. Hates herself so much that she be cutting her flesh, but you wouldn't tell. She covers up well with the way she dresses. Vanity driven, daydreamer in a fantasy living. Getting money on her back or the doggie position. Sells her body for a couple dollas, no self-respect. Contracted STDs before, but has no self-regret. On the outside, she's a beauty, her appearance is a 10; on the inside, a disaster, sleeping with her man's best friend. Conniving and black-hearted, you couldn't tell on the surface, but her core is so rotten, malice seeps through her pores. At first glance, the type of girl any man would adore, but on the inside, she's nothing but a worthless dirty whore.


By: Jack Ofal Trades

"Domestic Silence"

I wake up to birds chirping and your beauty at peace. Longing for the voice I haven't heard from in weeks. I've lost sleep, it's quite steep on this peak of danger, we go about our days as complete strangers. She blames me, I blame her -- our love changed, it ain't the same. Anger fuels my pain and extinguished intimate flames. So I practice silence before I act on violence. In my broken home, a dirty look is something like a broken bone. All alone, losing weight, dinners in a headlock. Coming home after work to a plate of Kellogg's. Shoulder shrugs and head nods, our language of choice. Takes the place of tongue lashings and raising our voice. I've been abused since the start, I have the black and blues to prove, but I choose not to part, she's all my heart ever knew. Thoughts of smacking her arose, fighting blow to blow, jabbing her nose and slicing her throat, I thought it all. But my intent is not spoken so I won't present a threat at this very moment or a sudden violent explosion. Instead of going upside her head, eye shut swollen, I prefer not to feed the urge cause silence is golden. Emotionally submerged in an ocean, which drowned our minds. With hand motions, we converse without a sound like mimes. Think back on what we had, now look at where we at. Went from pillow talking to verbal attacks. From verbal attacks to mental abuse, and in the midst of the confusion, then seclusion came through. And I'm through, I'm sooo through, I'm decreasing my health. I'm so through, it's come to me pleasing myself. My soul screaming for help, from morning til noon. By the evening, washed away by emotional typhoons. I could've sworn we would've jumped the broom, I spoke to soon. She's a wolf in a sheep's costume, but my silence speaks in volumes.

By: Joe Flow

Twitter: @JoeFlows

"The Pleasure Principle" {Part 2/4}

Sit back and let me tell you how this shit went down. I was bringing home about $3,500 or more a night, depending on the circumstance. A sex-craved money hungry sista like me worked five nights a week. Of course, my weekends were my time to do me. On any given Saturday or Sunday, you could find me with my two best friends, Tamia and Katisha. I didn't have a man because what man would understand that I fuck to get paid for a living? No one. My point exactly! So I married my hustle and made sex my homie-lover-friend. Without that, I probably would’ve ended up another project hoe living day by day just to get by like Talib Kweli once rapped about.

This particular Saturday, I was on my way to my favorite boutique to pick up the new Prada dress I ordered for a dinner party the following week. As I pulled into the parking lot of the boutique, my cell phone rang out Young Money's song, “BedRock.” I knew right away that it was Katisha calling. The song was perfect for her because that chick had an ass on her that made several men cry.

"What’s up," I answered, while putting my truck in park.
"Hey girl, are you gonna chill with me, I-Divine and Aaron tonight?" Katisha asked.
"What are ya'll trying to get into?"
"We’re probably going to end up at I-Divine's and you know how we do. Those two will be rolling all night and I’m going to get my drink on."

I- Divine was Katisha's boyfriend. He was a six-figure nigga, courtesy of his street pharmaceutical business. That dude was hella fine with those pretty green eyes. I knew they liked each other, but Katisha would front like she didn't. She was the kind of girl who liked to play games. As luck would have it, I-Divine liked to play the game, too, and very well I might add. Aaron was his tall, dark and handsome partner in crime. He had the sexiest bedroom eyes and when we got together, all we would do is talk because he was just that deep. He was a true intellectual, but as business savvy as he was, he had even bigger plans for making legal money. His long-term goal was to leave the game and start a public relations firm for hip-hop artists. I really liked Aaron, but I couldn't let him get that close because I knew he would never accept my lifestyle. So for our times spent together, we were just kicking it.

I remember the night we met. It started out as innocent, friendly flirt. I was sitting at the bar drinking some Moscato when Aaron winked at me from across the room. I purposely walked past his table on my way to the ladies' room. I didn’t have to go, but I wanted to get a better look of this chocolate hottie sitting alone. After retouching my makeup I headed back to the bar, but I never made it. He grabbed my arm and asked me to sit with him. I stayed with him for the rest of the evening. When it was time to leave, he walked me to my car and we exchanged numbers. The following weekend, Katisha and I rode out to I-Divine’s to hang out with him and one of his friends he wanted me to meet. When we walked in his house, he told us to go ahead in the living room to meet his boy. My mouth dropped open because his friend happened to be Aaron ...

My thoughts were interrupted when my cell beeped in another call. I clicked over to find out one of my regular clients, Sterling Bardwell, wanted to hook up. Sterling was the CEO of some software company whose pockets were deep. My dates with him were always fun. He was undeniably a spontaneous person. So a typical date could have me on his private jet to Las Vegas at the Ghost Bar or even surfing in Maui at the drop of the dime. It was a tough decision since I wanted to chill with Aaron and sip Moscato while he rubbed my feet. That was the part I hated about my profession. I often had to decide between dick or just chilling with a fine brotha. Even though I said the weekends were mine, my best clientele always came first. I knew Aaron was tiring of it, but for me, it was pretty much a no-brainer.

“Sterling, what time will the limo be arriving?"

I clicked back over and told Katisha that I wouldn’t be able to hang out. She asked what I was going to tell Aaron this time and I told her I would tell him the same as always. A few times, he questioned me about what I did for a living and I told him I was an international model. He believed it more once I showed him pictures from my portfolio. I had this photographer I was fucking take some professional shots for me just in case I wanted to model for real one day. I hated lying to Aaron, but I couldn't come clean.


To be continued ...

Click here to read: "The Pleasure Principle" {Part 1/4}

By: Kisha Green
author/publisher of the novel "And Even If I Did"
Blog Talk Radio host of "Writer's Life Chats"

Website: www.divabooksinconline.com
Twitter: @KishaGreen